These Words shared by A Father Which Rescued Me during my time as a Brand-New Dad

"I believe I was merely in survival mode for the first year."

One-time reality TV star Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the difficulties of becoming a dad.

Yet the actual experience quickly proved to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health complications around the birth caused his partner Louise being hospitalised. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her main carer in addition to looking after their infant son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, each diaper… every stroll. The duty of both parents," Ryan shared.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. That was when a chat with his parent, on a public seat, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a good place. You need some help. In what way can I support you?" opened the door for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His situation is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. Although people is now better used to addressing the stress on mothers and about PND, far less attention is paid about the difficulties dads face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan believes his challenges are part of a broader inability to communicate amongst men, who continue to absorb damaging ideas of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and remains standing time and again."

"It is not a sign of failure to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, explains men often don't want to accept they're finding things difficult.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be seeking help" - particularly in front of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental well-being is equally important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad offered him the chance to take a break - going on a couple of days overseas, away from the home environment, to see things clearly.

He came to see he needed to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotional states as well as the day-to-day duties of taking care of a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he realised he'd failed to notice "what she needed" -physical connection and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now composing Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son better understand the expression of emotional life and interpret his decisions as a father.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since having his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen lacked consistent male parenting. Despite having an "amazing" bond with his dad, profound trauma resulted in his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, affecting their connection.

Stephen says bottling up emotions led him to make "terrible actions" when younger to modify how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the hurt.

"You turn to substances that are harmful," he explains. "They may briefly alter how you feel, but they will eventually make things worse."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Talk to someone - when you are overwhelmed, confide in a friend, your other half or a counsellor about your state of mind. Doing so may to ease the pressure and make you feel more supported.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the things that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. This might be exercising, meeting up with mates or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical health - a good diet, staying active and if you can, sleep, all are important in how your mind is faring.
• Spend time with other new dads - hearing about their journeys, the challenges, and also the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Remember that seeking help is not failure - prioritising you is the best way you can care for your loved ones.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably struggled to accept the death, having not spoken to him for a long time.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's determined not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead offer the safety and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they practise "shaking the feelings out" together - expressing the emotions constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they confronted their struggles, altered how they talk, and figured out how to manage themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… sitting with things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo the other week," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I believe my role is to guide and direct you what to do, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding an equal amount as you are through this experience."