The New Holiday Film Critique – The Streaming Giant’s Latest Christmas Romcom Lacks Fizz.
Without wanting to come across as a holiday cynic, one must lament the premature arrival of Christmas films prior to the Thanksgiving holiday. While the weather cools, it feels too soon to fully indulge in Netflix’s yearly feast of cheap holiday entertainment.
Like American chocolates which don’t include genuine cocoa, Netflix’s Christmas films are relied upon for their style of mediocrity. They provide predictable elements – nostalgic casting, low budgets, fake snow, and absurd premises. In the worst cases, these films are forgettable train wrecks; at best, they are forgettable fun.
Champagne Problems, the latest holiday offering, blends into the broad center of unremarkable territory. Directed by the filmmaker, who previously last Netflix romcom was so disposable, this film feels like low-quality champagne – fittingly lackluster and context-dependent.
It begins with what looks like an AI-generated ad for drug store brand champagne. This ad is actually the proposal of Sydney Price, played by Minka Kelly, to her colleagues at a financial firm. The protagonist is the construction paper cut-out of a career woman – overlooked, constantly on her device, and driven to the harm of her private world. When her boss dispatches her to France to finalize an acquisition over Christmas, her sister insists she take one night in the city to live for herself.
Of course, Paris is the perfect place to wrest one away from digital navigation, even when the city is draped with unconvincing digital snowfall. In an absurdly cutesy bookstore, the lead meet-cutes with Henri Cassell, and he distracts her from her phone. As demanded by rom-com conventions, she at first rejects this perfect man for frivolous excuses.
Just as predictable are the movie mechanics that unfold at sudden shifts, mirroring the turning of old sparkling wine in the vaults of Chateau Cassel. The catch? Henri is the successor to Chateau Cassel, reluctant to manage it and resentful toward his dad for putting it up for sale. Maybe the film’s biggest addition to romantic comedies, he is highly critical of corporate buyouts. The conflict? Sydney truly thinks she’s not dismantling the ancestral business for profit, competing against three caricatures: a severe French grand dame, a severe blonde German man, and a delusional gay billionaire.
The twist? Sydney’s skeevy coworker Ryan shows up unannounced. The grist? Henri and Sydney gaze longingly at each other in holiday pajamas, despite a huge divide in financial perspective.
The gift and the curse is that none of this sticks longer than a short-lived thrill on an empty stomach. There’s a lack of real absorbent filler – the lead actress, most famous for her part in the TV series, gives a strictly serviceable portrayal, superficially pleasant and acts of kindness, more maternal than love interest material. Tom Wozniczka offers exactly the dollop of Gallic appeal with light inner conflict and nothing more. The tricks are unfunny, the love story is inoffensive, and the happy-ever-after is straightforward.
For all its philosophizing on the exclusivity of champagne, nobody claims this is anything other than a mass market item. The things to hate are also the things to like. One might call a critic’s feelings about the film a minor issue.
- Champagne Problems is now available on Netflix.